by Donna Gibbs
Christmas is quickly approaching. For many, this is a wonderfully anticipated time of the year. These are the people who have the countdown of the number of days until Christmas on their social media posts. For them, it is a magical time of the year. A time of great joy and celebration.
But for many other people, the holidays are frankly a dreaded time of the year. The reasons are endless. A broken home. Financial strains. Loved ones serving overseas who can’t be home for the holidays. Loneliness. Fatigue and stress due to the busyness of the season. The let-down following the holidays. Fewer daylight hours during this time of the year.
But, those who may struggle most are those who have lost loved ones. If you are missing someone you love right now, you likely have memories of them associated with Christmas. Anticipating the holidays without your loved one is an excruciatingly painful thought, and their absence at the table, or in the gift-giving, is nearly breath-taking.
So, how do we cope when the holidays bring pain? Here is a toolbox of 15 suggestions that you may find helpful if you are dreading the holidays. You may not need every tool. But, you may need a few:
- Maintain a regular time of bible study and prayer. It is important to remain immersed in truth, particularly when struggling with feelings of sadness or loneliness. Secular research even confirms the positive impact of spirituality on physical and mental health.
- Determine exactly what is causing you to have the “blues”. Name it and acknowledge it so that you can develop specific strategies for overcoming. Talk openly about your loss, and realize that it is 100% OK to not be 100% jolly.
- Recognize where you are blessed. Make a list, focusing on what you do have. Your loss is obvious. Your blessings are there, but may be hidden in the shadow of your loss.
- Think about what you have to look forward to following the holidays…don’t allow yourself to have tunnel vision on the past, or the holiday events that bring pain.
- Review your expectations regarding the holidays. Adjust them when they are unrealistic. Unrealistic expectations always promise a case of the blues.
- Begin some new traditions. Don’t try to compete with the past.
- If you’ve lost a loved one, be creative and do something in honor of them.
- Do something for someone else. Focus on others who are also experiencing the blues during the holidays. Reaching out brings perspective and will bless you, as it also blesses them.
- Set reasonable limits for your spending. Avoid using credit cards and prevent the post-season regrets that will only invite additional pain.
- Watch your food intake. Prevent some of the post-season guilt and feelings of despair regarding weight gain.
- Exercise! This is a wonderful prescription for the blues.
- Journal your feelings/struggles, but always end your journal entry with praise. Look for gratitude, as it starves out discouragement. Allow yourself to be grounded in the promises of God and in His character.
- Remember the significance of the holidays. Focus on your relationship with Christ, above all else.
- Seek professional help if your symptoms last more than a few weeks, or if they are so severe that they interfere with your daily activities.
- Follow the guidelines of the serenity prayer:
“God grant me the serenity…to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Donna Gibbs, co-owner of Summit Wellness Centers, PLLC, is author of the recent releases, Silencing Insecurity and Becoming Resilient. Donna has authored numerous other books, and is commonly featured on radio broadcasts across America, and occasionally internationally as well. Donna has been providing individuals and families the hope and help they need for twenty years as a national certified counselor, board-certified professional Christian counselor, and licensed professional counselor supervisor. A member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), she is a leading professional provider for Focus on the Family, Christian Care Network, r3Continuum, FINDINGbalance, and Samaritan’s Purse.
Follow Donna’s author page at https://www.facebook.com/DonnaGibbsResilience/ for daily encouragement, the weekly blog, and updates regarding events and speaking engagements.
