Suicide: Let's Better Understand. - Summit Wellness Centers, PLLC

by Donna Gibbs

Suicide. That’s a tough subject for this week. Most people aren’t even comfortable speaking this word out loud. This is a subject that brings discomfort, fear, insecurity, pain. We often stumble on our words when someone begins discussing suicide – we’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. We may be afraid to acknowledge our own thoughts of suicide, for fear of how someone will respond. So, we often say nothing at all. Truth is, in the time it takes you to read this brief blog, someone will make a decision to take their own life, and loved ones will be left to cope with the catastrophic and all too complex impact of that decision.

Suicide is on the rise. It is indeed a public health issue, and we at Summit Wellness Centers are not comfortable staying silent with such a life-altering statistic. Look around you….everyone you see knows a story about suicide. Many people have been directly impacted by a friend or a loved-one’s taking their own life. Some of you reading these words are curious about this blog because you yourself have experienced thoughts of suicide. Maybe you are experiencing those thoughts right now. You know what it feels like to be trapped. To be stuck. To be hopeless. To feel unworthy. It’s not that you want to die, you just need the pain to stop, and it may seem to you that there is no way out.

A study of the Psalms reveals that even David, a man of loyalty, a “man after God’s own heart”, came to a place where he felt hopeless. With legitimate enemies pressing in, exhaustion, discouragement, physical pain – he saw no way out. He begged God to take his life. I don’t think David really wanted to die. I think he just wanted life to stop closing in on him, and he could see no end to the struggle.

The suicide of a prominent pastor is in the news right now. I pray for Indian Hills church, and think of them often, as I appreciate the pain and confusion they are feeling. Naturally, we question how a man of faith could come to that place of brokenness. But I’m here to say that no one is immune. In fact, those in ministry may even be the most prone to discouragement. They carry a perceived weight on their shoulders, live in a glass house, are expected to be many things to many people, and often live isolated lives, with few places or people they can trust in their own pain. I recall the phone call I received years ago regarding the death of a good pastor friend. I remember weeping with a broken heart when I heard the word suicide. I drove to his house in disbelief. Surely this can’t be! You see, David Treadway was not just any colleague to me. He had been instrumental in the development of my counseling ministry. He understood the need for a safe place. He had survived the suicide of his own mother. But years later, after moving away and taking the position as a Senior Pastor, even he succumbed to hopelessness. You see, a person who commits suicide doesn’t do so as a selfish act. They do so as a perceived selfless act. They are disillusioned, suffering, and unfortunately, miss opportunities for help. While this is not the case 100% of the time, it is true that in most every case, if someone will reach out for help, the suicidal ideation will diminish, and they can begin to more clearly see a path of hope.

As a community, as the body of Christ, we need to work together towards prevention – reducing risk and increasing resilience in those of every age group who are at risk. The vulnerability to suicide is a complex one, and we must be willing to take the time for tough, real conversations. (If you are in any type of ministry, recognize your risk. Get help before there is a problem. In fact, I would recommend making Christian Counseling a routine part of your general ministry self-care. Churches, I recommend you support this decision, and provide resources for this much-needed care. Just imagine the impact that could have on the mental health of those who are serving in the trenches!)

There is help. There is hope. There is healing. If you are contemplating suicide today, I want to challenge you to postpone your decision until you can think it through with a professional counselor. Seek them out right now. If you can’tlocate anyone, go to the emergency room of your local hospital – there will be someone there you can talk to about this decision.

If you are a loved-one, suffering through the wake of the unthinkable suicide, I want to also invite you to reach out for help. You do not have to walk that lonely and confusing road alone. Reach out to a professional Christian Counselor or find a Survivors of Suicide (SOS) group. And don’t forget: There is help. There is hope. There is healing.

If you are suicidal and need to speak to someone immediately, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

Suicide: Let’s Better Understand.

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