Anxiety Archives - Summit Wellness Centers, PLLC

January 30, 2020January 30, 2020

Window of Emotional Tolerance

by Ashleigh Beason, LCMHCA

I am a big fan of the TV drama, “This is Us”. It is can’t miss, appointment TV for me. Last week one of my favorite characters, Randall, stood in his hallway in the middle of the night faced with a home invader–his immediate response was to fight the guy; in fact, he said, “You’ll never get past me.” Randall was ready to let him have whatever he wanted to keep him from going upstairs to his family. He was the strong protector. Then, as he continued to try and get on with normal life the anxiety of that instance plagued him. He began to wonder about what if the robber had gone upstairs, what if Randall had not had been there to stop him, what if he…. Then as he tried to utilize his usual coping skill, running, he was triggered and came home and cried in his bathroom trying not to have a panic attack. From what we know about Randall, he is a normal man, a councilman, living life with his wife and three kids. However, there are occasions throughout the show where he has difficulties with anxiety and in fact has panic attacks. Randall has these panic attacks because he is outside of his window of tolerance.

A window of tolerance is where we function most naturally. We experience ups and downs because that is a part of human life, but within that range we can tolerate certain emotions. In our daily life our emotions may range from anger to sadness or excitement to exhaustion and everything in between. This might bring us to the edge but we can usually stay within this window using coping strategies we have gained such as running, like Randall, or taking a bath, or doing something we enjoy.

When we experience extreme adversity or something traumatic, it is difficult to stay within this window of tolerance. If we move out of that window we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Flight, fight, or freeze is when our body perceives a harmful event or a threat to survival. When we are outside of that window it is difficult to think rationally. This window of tolerance is the body assessing what it needs to make us feel safe and how we can survive this situation. What happens outside of the window of tolerance is that the senses become heightened and our reactions become magnified preventing our usual coping skills from working properly. When this happens it can bring one to panic attacks, depression, numbness, and disconnection. When we have unaddressed emotions or are going through something traumatic, that tolerance window narrows and we become overwhelmed more quickly. It is helpful to get acquainted with your personal window of tolerance and observe it with compassion. It’s important to acknowledge and be aware of your window of tolerance, knowing that what is happening in your life is hard.

Here are some skills to try when you recognize you are out of your window of tolerance:

Mindfulness skills using grounding techniques: 5,4,3,2,1- noticing 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This can help in getting your body back to reality

Deep, slow breathing: This helps to activate regions of the brain and calms the body and has even been found to reduce pain and bring awareness to the here and now.

Keeping a gratitude list: Research has shown that giving thanks causes less stress, improves the quality of sleep, and builds emotional awareness.

Utilizing a weighted blanket: The deep pressure from using a weighted blanket has a calming effect.

Talking with a trusted friend: Sometimes others notice you are outside your window of tolerance before you do. You were not meant to do this alone, you were meant to do this with people around you.

Talking with a counselor: Although these things can help if you are still feeling overwhelmed it might be time to see a counselor so that when life does get difficult, you know you have someone who will listen.

Randall has, up to this point, refused help. A friend reached out and offered his listening ear and even suggested Randall speak to a pastor. Randall thinks he can handle this on his own. He has always turned to his brother during the difficult times, but at this place in his life Randall needs more. Will he see a counselor? Will he start a gratitude list? Or will he just continue to think he can live with his anxieties outside of his window of tolerance? The first step is noticing you are outside of your window of tolerance and then you get to decide what comes next.

August 30, 2019August 30, 2019

Feeling Overwhelmed?

by Ashleigh Beason, LPCA

Feeling overwhelmed can be an understatement this time of year. Coming off of a restful summer laying out by the pool, knocking out to do lists, spending some quality time with family, or perhaps just going from place to place visiting friends and vacationing.

Now summer is over and the school year has begun. This might bring a sense of relief because kids are now in school and you can get back into a routine. But perhaps the return to school comes with more busyness leaving you feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

Perhaps you feel overwhelmed because you got some difficult news about your health, perhaps you’re overwhelmed because you just got laid off, perhaps you’re overwhelmed because there are difficult things piling up on you and you cannot seem to get a break. Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed because you have too many emotions to deal with and you don’t know what to do with those emotions.

Feeling overwhelmed can feel much like anxiety which often can leave you paralyzed and not knowing what to do next. It can feel like a weight on your shoulders that you just can’t seem to shake.

When feeling overwhelmed take a deep breath. That may sound simplistic, but it’s the best place to begin. Take a deep breath, pray, and reset.

In 2 Chronicles 20 Jehoshaphat has a great army coming to overwhelm him. His immediate response is fear but then he prays. He acknowledges to God that “we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us.” (2 Chron. 20:12, English Standard Version) Then at the end of his prayer he says,

“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” ( 2 Chron. 20:12)

Many times when we are overwhelmed we have the potential to get stuck-we let that burden keep weighing us down, we numb ourselves with distractions and staying busy, or we pretend it’s just the way things are and it will all go away soon.

But what if instead we acknowledge our powerlessness against these overwhelming situations. We might not know what to do next or what is coming around the corner, but keeping our eyes on our powerful God is the only thing we can do and the only thing that keeps us moving forward.

Jehoshaphat reminds his people that “…the battle is not yours but God’s” (2 Chron. 20:15) and this makes all the difference. Sometimes all we have to do is keep our eyes on Him and be reminded that there is nothing we can do because this is not our battle to fight but the Lord is fighting it for us.

Then before Jehoshaphat and his people knew what was going to happen with the army coming against them, “…he appointed those who were to sing to the Lord and praise him…” (2 Chron. 20: 21) Sometimes the only remedy to that overwhelming feeling is to battle back with gratitude and praise—even when it is difficult to find things to be thankful for. Gratitude is a survival mechanism. This is what destroys the enemy.

God might not change this overwhelming circumstance but He is going to change you through thanksgiving.

So when we are feeling overwhelmed, remember to breathe, reset, and keep your eyes on Him, the provider of all things who fights our battles for us. Then sing praise and give thanks with expectation knowing that God is working it for our good and His glory.

All the hard things are not going to overwhelm you if you let the goodness of God, through thanksgiving, overtake you.

Ashleigh Beason, LPCA

June 21, 2019June 21, 2019

Yielding to The Master

by Boone Leigh, MA, LPC

Philippians 4:6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This has been an interesting week for me. My wife and daughters left at the beginning of the week to go to Africa on a missions trip. I usually am not a very anxious person but I have found myself thinking about all the possible misfortunes that could befall them. The thoughts of plane crashes or rebel uprisings, kidnappings, strange and deadly African diseases, have been on my mind. Ultimately the root concern seems to be this, I don’t think I could live without my wife and daughters. The heartache of something happening to them seems intolerable and thus my anxiety over the possibility of something happening to them wants to overwhelm me. This is a reminder of what anxiety many times is, it is a desire to control what I cannot control. God was very gracious to me in providing a gentle reminder to me this week through the pen of the Puritan Samual Rutherford in a little book I have been reading called “The Loveliness of Christ”.

“Take no heavier lift of your children, than the Lord alloweth; give them room beside

your heart, but not in the yolk of your heart, where Christ should be. For then they are

your idols, not your bairns [children]. If you Lord take any of them home to his house

before the storm come on, take it well, the owner of the orchard may take down two or

three apples off his own trees, before midsummer, and ere before they get the harvest sun;

and it would not be seemly that his servant, the gardner, should chide him for it.

Let the Lord pluck his own fruit at any season that he pleaseth; they are not lost to you,

They are laid up so well, as that they are coffered in heaven, where our Lord’s best jewels lie.” (p 34)

My children, my wife, and my life are not my own. The master of the orchard may do with them and me as He most wisely and graciously will. There is a great peace in not feeling like I need to control what I cannot control. The master of the orchard is in control, and he is a good master.

June 7, 2019June 7, 2019

How Can I Be Anxious For Nothing When I Am Anxious About Everything?

by Donna Gibbs

This blog is always designed to be relevant to the struggles of everyday life, and to the issues that come through the door of our counseling centers. So when I considered the most relevant topic of the week, I knew this week’s blog had to be about anxiety. Without a doubt, this is a season that fuels the sparks of anxiety. The news is full of domestic and international unrest, we hear daily of issues of violence or addiction, and… we’re approaching end-of-school year festivities, including the infamous end-of-grade testing! These triggers cause even those not naturally bent toward anxiety to experience some of the pangs of fear. For those who are predisposed toward anxiety, or those who are vulnerable due to some previous trauma, these concerns can potentially fuel a fear that is crippling.

If you are experiencing anxiety regarding anything in this tumultuous world, then you are likely experiencing some physical symptoms of discomfort: shallow breathing with rapid heart rate, nausea, headache, dizziness, sweating, and/or tingling. The genuine physical cascade of symptoms creates even more angst, often landing individuals experiencing these symptoms in the ER with concern of heart-attack or some other serious condition. I am going to share a brief checklist below of steps to take if anxiety is getting the best of you:

1. See your physician to rule out potential medical issues related to your physical symptoms.

2. Having ruled out medical complications, talk truthfully to yourself about your anxiety. A panic attack will feel like it can kill you. Truth is, it cannot hurt you. Reminding yourself of this truth diminishes the power of the bully of anxiety. Your season of anxiety will pass.

3. Avoid caffeine or other stimulants. Yes – skip that much-loved morning pick-me-up coffee, your afternoon sweet tea, and your favorite chocolate dessert. These will only increase your un- welcomed symptoms.

4. Breathe deeply. Be mindful of your breathing, and allow your symptoms to calm. You can gain control of your physical symptoms, vs their controlling you.

5. Exercise. Exercise positively impacts areas in the brain that channel serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine (the great mental health chemicals in the brain). Exercise works like a med! While you’re at it, take advantage of the self-induced increased heart-rate, and get some practice lowering your pulse so that you have more confidence when you encounter an elevated pulse due to anxiety or panic attack.

6. Reduce unnecessary stressors. Some stressors of life are unavoidable. But unnecessary stressors invite unnecessary suffering. You’re already suffering enough. It’s time to simplify.

7. Tell yourself the truth. Much of anxiety is a battle of the mind. Tell yourself the truth, not a minimized or exaggerated version of the truth that creates angst. If you have difficulty discerning truth, seek help. A professional counselor can help you discern and replace destructive thoughts.

8. Assertively use meditation and repetition. Anxiety is fueled by repetition and meditation on destructive and false beliefs. Recovery is found in repetition and meditation of truth. As I often tell clients, “You get out the same way you got in”. Cling to scriptural truths. Agree with God. Test your thoughts against His. And then allow Him to “transform and renew your mind” (Romans 12:2). Your brain, and your anxiety, will literally be changed through the tools of meditation and repetition of truth. Neuroplasticity is a beautiful thing!

9. Consider meds if your anxious thoughts are obsessive and crippling (if they are interfering with daily functioning). Be cautious about use of acute meds which can be addictive if over- used. Ask your physician to provide information regarding a group of maintenance meds, or SSRI’s, that may assist you in managing crippling symptoms. Remember, meds are not a cure-all; you’re still going to have to do the hard work.

10. Don’t allow anxiety to bully you! It will shrink your world if you allow. In fear of the next episode of panic, you’ll avoid the people or places that you fear will leave you vulnerable. This only empowers the anxiety. Instead, embrace opposite action. Don’t believe the anxiety! Rebel against the bully.

Finally, let’s remember that a little bit of anxious concern is good. Yes, it can allow us to be more pro-active, more focused, and more detail- oriented. It can keep our care at a healthy level. But, a good thing turned too high… is still too high. So keep check on your concern, and when it turns toxic, take some of the steps above to turn it down.

Donna Gibbs, co-owner of Summit Wellness Centers, PLLC, is author of the recent releases, Silencing Insecurity and Becoming Resilient. Donna has authored numerous other books, her blogs are frequently shared in various media outlets, and she is commonly featured on radio broadcasts across America, and occasionally internationally as well. Donna has been providing individuals and families the hope and help they need for more than twenty years as a national certified counselor, board-certified professional Christian counselor, and licensed professional counselor supervisor. A member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), she is a leading professional provider for Focus on the Family, Christian Care Network, r3Continuum, FINDINGbalance, and Samaritan’s Purse.

Follow Donna’s author page at https://www.facebook.com/DonnaGibbsResilience/ for daily encouragement, the weekly blog, and updates regarding events and speaking engagements.

March 15, 2019March 14, 2019

Am I OCD? When a Challenge of Life Invites Mental Health Symptoms

by Donna Gibbs

This past week, my youngest son had a stomach bug. Gratefully, he doesn’t get sick often, and when he does, it is pretty short-lived. I managed this temporary stint of sickness as many momma’s do – checking on him every 15 minutes or so, and filling the air with Lysol in the moments in between.

Things were fine… until I noticed that my husband was looking puny. My typically healthy, energetic, and feisty man was red-skinned and lethargic. When he said he was going to the emergency room (which in 25 years of marriage I have never seen him do), I knew something was up. He got my attention. He was sick, and I was nervous. A couple of hours later, his visit revealed a positive flu test. My Lysol use multiplied by massive proportions. (Some of you can relate!)

The stomach bug and a positive flu test within a 24-hour span sent me seemingly over the edge. They say, “Ignorance is bliss,” but too many educational experiences regarding microscopic germs robbed me of my utopia. Instead, I could nearly visualize nasty germs on all the surfaces of my home; every door-knob, every piece of clothing, every box in my pantry. I was on a disinfecting quest! I displaced my son so that I could isolate my husband upstairs, and only went up to make sure he was alive and to deliver a meal (and I did that only when I could cover my face with a paper-towel “mask” and hold my breath while I was upstairs in proximity of my husband). A couple of times I almost instigated my own panic attack because I held my breath too long! (Don’t shame me – I bet you’ve exercised some of my tactics!)

While some of this is just an entertaining disclosure, the truth is some stressful situations really can induce a temporary season of mental health symptoms. If you had followed me around my home this weekend, you would have been convinced that this typically unworried person really had a serious case of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. For a couple of days, I met the criteria! It certainly gives me an even fresher appreciation for the kind of torturous daily struggles typical of those who sincerely wrestle with a lifetime of OCD. (By the way, OCD is perhaps the most easily treated mental disorder, so if you have experienced a long-term pattern of being stuck with obsessive thoughts, or compulsive behaviors, please know that there is help. You don’t have to live alone in that prison anymore!)

While my short season surrounded by sickness triggered some unwanted symptoms, there are many other seasons of life that can also trigger short-term mental health challenges. For example, if you are going through a divorce, you may also experience symptoms of depression. If you are facing a challenging diagnosis, you may also experience symptoms of anxiety. If you are in a challenging circumstance right now, you also have a set of mental health symptoms, and they are probably not
pleasant for you to experience. Those symptoms may make you feel that you are emotionally unstable.

This weekend I extended myself some grace, gave myself some appropriate boundaries, refreshed myself with an eternal perspective, and allowed myself a giggle or two regarding my symptoms. I even allowed some of my symptoms of hypervigilance to work on my behalf, preventing me from irresponsibly spreading lots of nasty germs (hey, a little bit of anxiety is a beautiful thing!). If you are in a season of struggle, I would encourage you to also extend yourself some grace. Allow yourself to feel the emotions of your challenge, but also put some reasonable boundaries on yourself. Refresh yourself with an eternal perspective. Meditate on God’s promises and biblical truths. Remember that your symptoms may be perfectly normal given the situation, and they may even work to your benefit if allowed. Lastly, don’t take yourself too seriously – a laugh or two may be just what the Dr ordered!

If your short-season of struggle (with short-term mental health symptoms) turns into an extended season of struggle (with extended mental health symptoms), then it’s time to reach out for help! That’s why we’re here, and we’d consider it an honor to walk alongside you in your unwelcomed season. Together, we might even find a way to laugh somewhere along the way!

Donna Gibbs, co-owner of Summit Wellness Centers, PLLC, is author of the recent releases, Silencing Insecurity and Becoming Resilient. Donna has authored numerous other books, and is commonly featured on radio broadcasts across America, and occasionally internationally as well.
Donna has been providing individuals and families the hope and help they need for twenty years as a national certified counselor, board-certified professional Christian counselor, and licensed professional counselor supervisor. A member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), she is a leading professional provider for Focus on the Family, Christian Care Network, r3Continuum, FINDINGbalance, and Samaritan’s Purse.
Follow Donna’s author page at https://www.facebook.com/DonnaGibbsResilience/ for daily encouragement, the weekly blog, and updates regarding events and speaking engagements.