by Kevin Wimbish, LMFT
I just turned 40 years old this year. I seem to be caught on the tail end of being in Gen X and a little before being a Millennial. My hair (or lack thereof) reflects the former and my discipline in the gym is a blessing close to the latter. I have lived all of my childhood in small, rural towns, and all of my adult life in the South. I’ve spent all of my professional life engaged with helping people grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and/ or professionally.
I’ve noticed something over my adult life as an American male. It seems as though those who are my age were raised in a culture that told us to only be strong, aggressive, unfeeling, dominant. And yet, those who are somewhat younger than me seem to be growing up in a culture that denigrates these qualities and elevates the heart, feelings, and emotions above all else. So which is it? Could it be both? Could both extremes be wrong, and really right when held together? Could it be that it is the tension between the two that is really the answer?
I think our culture needs more from us than either of these extremes. More than the bravado that presents a tough exterior that can hide a deep insecurity. More than a subdued and muted version of ourselves so as to not ruffle any feathers. I think our culture, our churches, our wives, our children, need both. The Warrior and the Poet.
Consider two men from the Bible. David and Jesus.
Consider David as the Warrior:
“I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth. And if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and struck him and killed him. Your servant has struck down both lions and bears, and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them, for he has defied the armies of the living God.” (I Samuel 17: 35 & 36, English Standard Version)
“So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and struck the Philistine and killed him.” (I Sam. 17:50)
Not only was he a great warrior, but he was also aware of and connected with his heart:
“Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.” (Psalm 31:9)
“I love you, O Lord, my strength.” (Psalm 18:1)
Consider Jesus as the Lion and the Lamb:
“And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming with a loud voice, ‘Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?” (Revelation 5:2)
“And one of the elders said to me, ‘Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.” (Rev. 5:5)
“And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain, with seven horns and with seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth.” (Rev. 5:6)
He handled business when needed:
“The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, ‘Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.” (John 2:13-16)
He also cared deeply about others:
“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to him, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Jesus wept.” (John 11:33-35)
Men, or if you are raising men, may we consider today, how to navigate our cultural confusion with more clarity. May we look to the One who provides direction through these tumultuous waters. May we ask Him to guide us as we follow Christ and allow Him to make us more like Him, a “…stunning mingling of magesty and meekness.” – John Piper
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-lion-and-the-lamb
